the_lioness | (no subject)

(no subject)

It's a quiet evening, with just Alanna and the dragons in the apartment. The cats are gone, enjoying their new life in the Olau stables, and Tulip has been released to a particularly lush area near the lake. As for Adam? Alanna isn't quite sure where he might be, but given the thoughts currently troubling her, that's probably for the best.

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There's a soft, if firm, knock on the door.

Lucy's eyes are not wet, and her face isn't happy or sad.

It's rather peaceful, really.

"Come in," Alanna calls from the couch, distractedly. She contemplates answering the door, instead deciding to content herself with the less polite option.

She does so, and finds dragons about her feet, quickly, which she steps carefully around as she moves to sit by Alanna.

"It's done." Soft like the knock, and tone much like her expression.

Lucy always rates a smile, even if it's a strained one. Unfolding herself from the lumpy ball she had been on the couch, Alanna sits properly, opening her mouth to ask a question when Lucy speaks.

Her face falls.

Eyes wide and worried, she drops her head back and stares blankly at the ceiling.

"I'm glad," she admits. "I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold it in."

"Nor I. But it's done, now."

She just looks ahead as she says it.

They aren't looking at each other, but Alanna ponders Lucy's peaceful expression as she entered and bites her lip. Without saying a word, she slowly reaches out to squeeze Lucy's hand.

It's I'm sorry and I wish I could help. How she wishes she could help.

Some things don't need saying, but they bear thinking all the same.

"I needed to know." Simply, not looking over still, but she squeezes Alanna's hand back.

"He's given me much. He gave me life for a weekend," whether she wanted it or not. "And--it's funny," and she smiles, a very little bit, "but I'm more grateful for him for saying he'll give me away than for that weekend, really. I just--I want this. To marry Caspian. But I don't want to do it alone. It's--it's still frightening, a bit, I suppose," and Lucy looks ahead, still smiling, a little, "for all I want it. And because...someone's supposed to be there, y'ken? Father can't, and brothers...wouldn't be right. Not any more. But I don't want to do it alone."

Softly, "and you shouldn't do it alone."

Alanna squeezes her eyes shut, fighting tears. Maybe it's the hormones, or maybe it's all the emotions wrapped up in this.

Lucy's father can't and her brothers wouldn't be right. Substitute 'brother' for 'brothers,' and Alanna understands completely.

"I had you," she says, simply. "It meant a lot to him to be asked, and for that I'm thankful."

Lucy has no tears to shed. Not on any of this.

Not tonight, anyway.

But her head drops to Alanna's shoulder, after a few moments, anyway, gold hair mixing with red curls.

Because there is acceptance, but she is so very, very tired, and in her mind she thinks of a place where she wouldn't be, and she has to shut her eyes as well.

"I have him. And I have you. If you'll stand with me, too. You and Su and Lilly--not bridesmaids, exactly, for I've no time to plan such things, but--but you and Su and Lilly, still."

"It would be an honor," Alanna manages after a moment. "You have us both forever. Never doubt that."

Only after she says it does Alanna wonder how long forever might be.

Brow furrowed, she curls her arms around Lucy protectively, damp eyes serious as she frowns.

"Never would it do for one lioness to desert another, I feel. For we do everything fiercely, determinedly and with our whole hearts, and love and friendship are no exceptions. We fight for what we believe in, and sometimes just for survival, but it's all right to rely on each other, even if it's just to admit that we need a hand to hold every now and then."

Alanna blinks and bites her lip, an odd light in her eyes.

"I think in the days to come I'll need it more than once."

It's softly said, as she holds the other woman back.

"We are what we are, aye."

And it is, she thinks, the nature of the lioness to not ever be able to be anything else, nor try to be for long.

There is too much pride, perhaps, for that.

"And I'd have it no other way. And for which I thank you."

"Neither would I," Alanna replies sincerely.

Her hold loosens, finally, and there's a soft smile on her face as she takes a deep breath.

"The wedding will be just what you need it to be, Lucy, in the end. Adam will hold your hand, and then so will Caspian, and both of you will be surrounded by nothing but love and good wishes."

There has been too much talk of death, she finds, and not enough about life. Because what it means to be alive doesn't always have to do with blood rushing through veins and a beating heart, in her opinion.

And just because one door closes, doesn't mean another won't open. There's always another adventure waiting.

But there's one more question to ask, Alanna thinks as she looks towards the door.

"How is he?"

You never know.

A door may close, but there might be a wardrobe in the room.

"Quiet. It was hard for us both. But he'll be well." And she knows it, as she pulls away from Alanna and rises. "But I think he'll want to see you, soon, and I have stolen you long enough."

"You cannot steal what was freely given," Alanna says and laughs, for it sounds strange once said. "I shall go look for him then. Or at least walk by the lake and pretend not to notice him until he chooses to notice me first."

Alanna stands a bit more slowly and collects a large sweater, already at the point where she dare not go outside without one.

"Thank you for telling me, Lucy."

"Who else was there to tell?" with an odd sort of smile, as she turns and exits, saying, "Good evening, Alanna," before the door is shut behind her with a gentle click.

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