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[the_lioness]

"No! Not those, Puff! I happen to like that pair."

It's a cry that has echoed through the flat several times this afternoon, but the small dragon is determined. Her Human must have a fine nest, therefore the Tall Pale One’s garments need to be sacrificed. What is so difficult to understand?

In the midst of a stretch, Alanna can do nothing else but laugh as Puff waddles across the room with a pair of Adam's pants held firmly between her teeth.

Comments

[called_lioness]

There's a knock at the door.

KNOCK.

See, knock!

[the_lioness]

Puff stops and turns to pull backwards, flapping her wings, and Alanna only laughs that much harder while opening the door.

"Lucy!" Alanna hurriedly pulls the other girl inside. "Look. She's been doing this all day."

[called_lioness]

Lucy laughs, as she enters, the twins hurrying around her feet.

MAMA!

MAMA!

"Hullo, Puff. Do you need any help," seriously, "from either the twins or myself?"

WE'D BE GLAD TO.

OUR HUMAN IS A GOOD HUMAN, SEE?

[the_lioness]

The twins are certainly a welcome sight, though Alanna privately says goodbye to and mourns that particular pair of pants.

Puff looks utterly delighted. Each take a leg. Pull fasssssst.

"It might be best not to tell Adam you brought them to visit," Alanna snickers.

[called_lioness]

YES MAMA is chorused as they obey.

They've been practicing.

"What, them? They brought me," she smiles and leans in to kiss Alanna's cheek.

[the_lioness]

"A handy excuse," Alanna replies, smiling. She turns to watch Puff lead the way into the spare room, and wonders, vaguely, what the twins will make of their painted likenesses on the wall.

Or of Caspian's, for that matter.

Alanna is certain they will approve of the tea towels.

"Come in, come in. Er, some of the furniture is in its rightful place still. I decided to exercise inside today. Care for a drink? I've almost mastered tea."

This is, perhaps, not entirely reassuring.

[called_lioness]

"Do you want help moving it back?" she asks, as she looks about. "And tea would be lovely, Alanna, say thankya."

[the_lioness]

There it is again.

That simple phrase, once heard so frequently, has the power to stop her in her tracks. Especially when uttered by Lucy.

Halfway to the kitchen, she pauses and nods, only her profile visible from this angle.

"Perhaps the couch and the table, so that we won't be forced to sit on the floor." Not that she minds the floor, but she's fairly certain it's not polite to force guests to seat themselves thusly. "Say thankya."

Swallowing, Alanna continues and is soon making a great deal of noise in the kitchen.

"How are you?"

[called_lioness]

"Sorry, Alanna," and it's just above a whisper, as she scoots the furniture back into place.

"Though the floor is fine, you know. And I'm...busy, I suppose. You?"

[the_lioness]

Alanna doesn't hear, but if she had, she would have been quick to state that there's nothing for which to apologize.

"About the same," she calls out. "Finally took the cats to live at Olau. They seem happy enough in the stables."

Boiling water and dropping tea bags in a teapot is not terribly difficult, but Alanna looks proud as she carries a tray back to Lucy.

"The floor it is, then. There are some cushions behind you."

[called_lioness]

"Lovely," she declares, and grabs some for both of them.

Puff and the twins, she notes, have run off.

Oh dear.

"And I'm glad to hear that."

[the_lioness]

Alanna settles both herself and the tea tray on the ground and slowly exhales, relieved that nothing spilled.

"I don't suppose you want a frog? She might serve as a lovely contrast to the twins by falling in love with Caspian. Although I'm not sure she ever got over Cuthbert."

A small wince.

[called_lioness]

"I don't think I could deal with a competitor for his affection," she says serenely.

[the_lioness]

Adam has not been in the spare bedroom recently.

This is likely for the best.

Puff has made quite a fine nest. Nay, an exceptional nest, replete with shredded and singed garments. Only the best for her Human. Only the best at the expense of the Tall Pale One.

She leads her offspring into the room with a note of pride, as if to say, sssssee? This is how you do it.

The nest is art work in its own right.

[called_lioness]

YES MOMMA.

WE SEE.

They shoot glances at each other.

MOMMA?

WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

[the_lioness]

Problem?

Her precious twins have a PROBLEM?

Adam's pants go up in flames. A replacement can be found and sacrificed later.

Tell me, my darlingsssss, she hisses, wrapping a wing around each of them.

[called_lioness]

Momma makes EVERYTHING better.

That's why she's Momma.

Lilac snuggles against her while Lavender says, IT'S THE HIM, MOMMA.

HE IS NOT GOING AWAY.

AND WE TRIED, Lavender continues. WE TRIED EVERYTHING. THE SOAP. THE STICK FOR TEETH CLEANING WAS USED ON THE PORCELION BOWL. WE BURNED SO MANY CLOTHES!

SO, SO, SO MANY.

BUT HE IS NOT GOING AWAY, AND OUR HUMAN SAYS HE NEVER WILL CAUSE THEY'RE MATING.

AND NOT THE MATING WHERE HE MAKES FUNNY NOISES AND SHE DOES TOO AND WE HAVE TO HIDE IN THE BATHROOM CAUSE THE BED BOUNCES AND IT'S SCARY TO BE UNDER IT! NOT THAT KIND! FORMAL MATING!

[the_lioness]

Sometimessss even the bathroom isn't safe, Puff responds sympathetically. No room is spared.

Puff doesn't understand why her Human and the Tall Pale One don't just stay in their nice big nest and play Barry White.

She shifts, nuzzling her babies even as she wonders where 'Heed disappears to when they need to have these sort of talks.

Probably off doing heroic dragon things.

He's such an impressive dragon. So purple.

But she can think about the love of her life later. Now is for the twins and this rather substantial problem.

Who does the Him think he is?

Did you try fur dying liquid in the sssshampoo bottle?

[called_lioness]

Lockheed is busy being heroic while his stubborn human is depressed IN THE FUTURE.

He misses Puff, be assured.

And her lovely amber eyes...

OUR HUMAN, Lilac says, a little sheepishly, REALLY LIKES HIS HAIR, MOMMA.

BUT WE TRIED EVERYTHING ELSE! EVERYTHING! EVEN WHEN HE THOUGHT HE'D HIDDEN CLOTHES FROM US!

[the_lioness]

My Human likes the Tall Pale One's fur. Sssshe tells him so. Lots. But every time sssshe does, I burn a sock.

Seriously, Just because our Humans have been brainwasssshed doesn't mean we can give up. Your father didn't give up, and he was successsssful. My Human mated and is now breeding, but I know I will vanquish the Tall Pale One eventually.

This is why I build a nessst. Blow fire on his hind quarters while he sleeps. Mix the tooth cleaning passste with the smelly stuff ssshe puts on her feet. To show him who's bossss.

[called_lioness]

Somewhere, across time and space and (un)reality, there is the shriek of laughter as a a brunette at a computer falls over dead.

YES MOMMA. Earnestly.

WE WILL PUT THE LIQUID IN THE FUR WASHING SOAP! WE WILL! BLUE LIQUID, EVEN.

...MOMMA? WHAT IF THE HIM AND THE HUMAN BREED?

They are Very Concerned over this.

[the_lioness]

Wings gently brushing the tops of their heads, Puff relocates to the center of her partially constructed nest and surveys the room with the air of a commanding general.

It issss an unfortunate risk. She purrs, warming up to the subject. But if they do, your father will give the Him a cccigar, and we will find their offspring good homes with nice dragons to train them. Sssee? They won't have to worry about a thing. They will thank USSSS!

One wing is pumped triumphantly in the air.

Momma really does have all the answers.

[called_lioness]

...The mun was talking to her father on the phone and could not explain why she was in hysterics, say thankya.

Lilac and Lavender crouch before her, staring with intent adoration.

MOMMA, YOU ARE SO GOOD.

SO, SO GOOD.

CAN -- Lavender is forming an idea. CAN WE PUT THINGS TO MAKE HIM ITCH IN THE CLOTHES HE THINKS HE HAS HIDDEN FROM US?

[the_lioness]

He would understand! Possibly.

Puff preens. Practice, darlingsss. I have lotsss of experience.

And the Tall Pale One suffers for it.

There comes a time in every doting mother's life when she nearly bursts with pride.

Of courssse. Use your imagination. There are no limits to making the Him missserable, unlessss it also makes your Human upssset. Don't want to upssset the Human. The Human gives us tasssty sssteak.

[called_lioness]

...He'd definitely something.

Lilac doesn't think Momma needs practice. Momma's got talent. Momma's a natural.

NO UPSETTING THE HUMAN. She knows this. She does.

THE HIM WILL PAY. AND. AND IF. Lavender is the one who thinks a lot more. (Which is not to say Lilac is stupid. Just more instinctual. Obviously.) AND IF WE CHASE HIM OUT WITHOUT HIS PITIFUL FAKE FUR INTO THE WORLD, WE WILL DO SO IN A WAY THAT MAKES THE HUMAN HAPPY.

THRILLED, EVEN.

Hopeful eyes are sent to their momma for approval.