the_lioness | (no subject)

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*After a restless night, Alanna is more than a little grumpy. It was entirely too stuffy in her bedchamber, so she opened a window to take care of some of the heat. As soon as she did, she started shivering. The healers told her to stay in bed; she got out. When they changed tactics and agreed that fresh air might do her good, she crawled back under mounds of blankets.

It only occurred to her later that they might have figured her out.

Still annoyed at that, Alanna sits in bed and scowls at the list Thayet had left her.*

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*The door opens and in walks not one, but two people. Adam has something of a large grin on his face.*

Stop the scowling, you'll scare off your guest.

"Whatever," a familiar voice says from the depths of her slightly overlarge hooded robe.

"If I wasn't scared off by traveling with you, Alanna's got no chance."

Lilly pulls her hood back and beams.

"What up, sai?"

I'm not scowling.

*It's an automatic response, followed by an automatic smile when she sees Adam. Kicking back the covers, she starts to stand and promptly falls back down again, mouth hanging open. Next on "When Worlds Collide..."*

Lilly?

*She beams right back.*

Oh, not much. But I have a feeling things are about to get a whole lot better.

*Adam beams. And then goes over to the bed and, pulling the covers off of her, places a kiss on her forehead.*

You and Lilly talk. I have... things to deliver.

*That's a happy and relieved smile, though, that goes along with the statement.*

Lilly eyes him sternly.

"Yeah, not so fast, Adam. You're wearing one of the things you have to deliver. Go on. Take off your hood and show her."

*Adam? Adam facepalms. But he takes off his hood. To reveal...

A SHINY PINK TIARA.*

*The happy and relieved smile does not go unnoticed. Taking a deep breath, Alanna feels some of the tension drain away.

Wait.

Adam is wearing a shiny pink tiara. That's certainly... unexpected. She quirks an eyebrow and struggles not to laugh.*

Well. That's certainly an interesting accessory to have picked up on your travels. *beat* Thayet's is prettier.

"Thayet's," Lilly says smugly, "does not accentuate her testicles."

There's a pause.

"Uh, at least, I'm assuming it doesn't. Feel free to correct me on this one!"

*Adam coughs, and flushes.*

RIGHT. On that note.

*To Alanna-*

You? I love.

*To Lilly-*

You? Not so much.

I'll be back soon.

I cannot comment on the state or lack of Thayet's testicles, but feel free to ask Jon, should we see him. I'd love to see his face. *calling after Adam* Please tell Duke Baird I'm sorry, and that I'll do whatever he tells me!

Not that he'll believe you.

*Wide eyed, Alanna slowly looks back at Lilly and giggles.*

Mithros, I cannot believe you are here. But what do tiaras and testicles have to do each other?

Lilly grins. Stepping closer to the bed, she reaches into her voluminous sleeves and pulls out two more rather obnoxiously sparkly tiaras. The one she hands to Alanna is bedecked with fake diamonds and amethysts, while the one she places on her own head has fake emeralds instead.

"Well, the tiara came about because... um. I don't know. I was drinking. But it seemed like a good idea, so! The testicle bit, well..."

The grin widens.

"I may have mentioned to Adam that the small pink gemstones on his tiara would do wonders to bring out his balls."

*Lilly logic -- Alanna has long since given up on trying to reason it out. She grins, admires the purple and plops the tiara on her head.*

Oh, naturally! I never would've thought pink was his color, but I know better than to second-guess the expert.

*Pushing her hair back, Alanna pulls her knees up, to make room.*

Have a seat. How are you? I want to hear everything.

Lilly curls up comfortably on the end of the bed.

"Everything? Well. This could take a while. I'll start with the, in my opinion, best news."

She straightens up a little.

"I've started a brothel. Madam Lilly's Delicate Flowers."

*Unfortunately, Alanna chooses that moment to take a sip of water. She coughs, momentarily feeling like she's drowning. A strangled sound emerges as she wipes her eyes.*

Madam... Goddess. *after a long cause* Well done. You, my friend, are going to make an incredible amount of money. Are you importing...?

Lilly shakes her head, grinning.

"That's the best part. Bernard called in tabs, cause too many people were just running them up and never even making an attempt to pay them off, and so I'm employing some of the more promiscuous bar patrons who also need the cash."

She arches an eyebrow.

"Guess who one of my first applicants was?"

I wondered when he would next do that. *Almost recovered, she smiles and tilts her head.* Who?

All manner of interesting names just popped in my head. Should I be concerned that the first was Lucifer?

Seeing as Lilly would probably have hired him? Not so much, no.

"Delia."

A pause.

"Or Dahlia, as that's her new Delicate Flower name."

First, Alanna chokes. As she chokes, she turns an interesting shade of red. Clutching her side, she stares at Lily and tries to process this.*

Delia?

DELIA, Delia?

... Delia?

Well, she is a good kisser.

Lilly's concerned for a moment, but as soon as Alanna can speak again she relaxes. At the last statement, her eyes widen.

"Wait, how do you kn- ohhh. Well. I guess I can put you down on her reference list then."

NO! No, really. She dared me to kiss her last year.

She dared me.

*As if this explains everything.*

Actually... it does to Lilly. She nods knowingly.

"Well, a dare's a dare. So. I won't expect a letter of recommendation then?"

Jon cautiously sticks his head in the door, unsure of what he is going to find. An adorable young woman was definitely a more welcome sight than Thom.

"Am I interrupting anything? Adam mentioned you had a visitor."

*An almost evil smile crosses Alanna's face.*

You aren't interrupting a thing. We were just discussing whether or not I would submit a letter of recommendation for Delia. I think, perhaps, you would be better suited to the task than I. King Jonathan, this is my friend Lilly Kane. Lilly, this is Jon, one of my oldest friends and the king of Tortall. Feel free to ask him about Thayet.

"Nice to meet you, Jon. So. Thayet?"

Lilly blinks innocently as she tilts her head at him.

"Well, okay, but I'm only going to interview her if you say she's like, mind-blowing in the sack. I have a lot of prospective whores already. However, I'd love to hear anything you have to say about Delia, any special moves she's got or whatever."

Jon stepped into the room after Alanna said hello, and now there is a look on his face like he is regretting that move. As Lilly speaks, his eyes widen alarmingly and his mouth drops open a bit.

"Uhhh."

He turns and glares at Alanna. "What exactly have you been telling this...young lady?"

*Alanna leans back on her pillows and closes her eyes with a blissful smile.*

The beauty of it is... nothing at all. Relax, Jon. She's a good friend, fond of mischief.

"Me?"

Lilly presses a hand to her heart, attempting to both look highly wounded and not giggle. She's not very successful on either front.

"I have no idea what she's talking about. Clearly Alanna's gone all delirious again. I'm an angel."

"Uh huh." Jon still looks suspicious, but he moves slightly farther into the room.

"I'm assuming you are here by way of Milliways. And where are you from?" he asks politely, flashing her a smile. It's a manner of protection, really.

Lilly smiles in a disarmingly friendly fashion and holds out her hand.

"Lilly Kane, DeadNeptuneCaliforniaEarth2005. My titles include Lady Lilly the Dauntless of Narnia, Co-Editor-in-Chief Kane of the Say True, and Madam Lilly of the Delicate Flowers brothel, but... you can just call me Lilly."

A beat.

"And yeah. Milliways. Where else?"

Jon's eyebrows are in danger of remaining permanently up on his forehead. He manages to pull it together enough to smile and make her an elegant bow.

"Well, Lilly, I currently have only two titles, King Jonathan of Tortall and the Voice of the Tribes, but yours sound much more interesting. And you can call me, Jon."

He straightens and raises an eyebrow questioningly. "Now, what was this about a brothel?"

*At the mention of Narnia, Alanna opens her eyes and grins at Lilly.*

There aren't many ways for most people in Milliways to pay their tabs. It seems Lilly has come up with a solution. For some, at any rate.

She was just telling me about one of her first applicants.

*She waits, wondering if he'll put it together.*

Jon thinks back for a moment, and the name 'Delia' floats across his brain. A look of horror crosses his face, which turns violently red as the meaning of Alanna's phrase "letter of recommendation" cross his brain.

He sputters, unable to make a coherent phrase.

Lilly is smiling serenely from her perch on the bed.

"Yeah, Delia applied right away. Considering all her experience, I think she might easily be one of the best of my new bitches."

*Alanna clears her throat.*

It's not as if your relationship is or was a big secret. I'm sure she mentioned it.

*Tugging on her ear, she smiles.*

Do you like my tiara?

Jon leaps to the new subject like a starving man to a turkey sandwich.

"It is very fetching - the stones match your eyes." He grins. "It is a bit feminine for you, however."

"I think she looks great in it," Lilly says loyally.

She smirks.

"Although, considering your history... I guess I'm not too surprised that you prefer her more masculine looks."

*Blushing, Alanna bristles.*

Some people find me plenty feminine, thank you very much. I happen to like it.

Jon reddens a bit again at Lilly's comment. "I preferred her as a girl, certainly."

He quickly turns back to Alanna. "I know you are, Alanna. I certainly do - I've bought you many a pair of earbobs. It's just a bit more...obvious than what you usually like."

Lilly arches an eyebrow.

"Are you saying it's tacky, Jon? Cause it sure sounds like you are. And calling a sick person's pretty pretty princess tiara tacky is just plain mean."

Exactly.

*Gaze shifting back to Lilly, Alanna feels her lips start to twitch.*

I've been stuck in this bed for the better part of two months. If I want to wear a pretty... pretty princess tiara, then let me.

Unless you would rather wear it?

Jon looks panicked. "I have a crown, thank you, and it suits me just fine."

"Really?" Lilly asks cheerfully.

"Cause I think you'd look fabulous in green."

She hops off the bed, takes her tiara off and stretches as tall as possible to place it on a dumbfounded Jon's head. She steps back, beaming.

"See? So pretty. And what better apology for insulting your sick friend than wearing matching tiaras all day?"

*Alanna? Cracks up.*

Gorgeous, Jon. If it makes you feel any better, Adam was wearing one too.

Jon's face cannot possibly get anymore red. He manages to grin weakly, then quickly takes the tiara off and hands it back to Lilly.

"It was nice to meet you, Lilly, but I believe I have a meeting to go to. Yes, definitely a meeting. Alanna, I'll check in on you later."

And he flees out the door.

*Quite some time later, Alanna finally stops laughing and takes a deep breath.*

Lilly, I cannot tell you how happy I am you came to visit. Now, where were we? I believe you were telling me about your enterprise.

Lilly resettles herself on the bed, the occasional giggle still escaping her.

"Ah yes. The Delicate Flowers. You know, it really was Crowley and Bernard's idea..."

The rest of the visit is spent catching Alanna up on as much bar news as Lilly can remember. The vanquished singing demon, the party, how lovably grumpy Bernard is on no sleep, and every bit of gossip Lilly can recall.

It takes a while.

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