the_lioness | (no subject)

*Adam walks outside, shielding his eyes from the bright sun. It seems extraordinarily bright today, though that could simply be the result of not being outside in the light for a few days. He sighs, and heads towards the lake - and Crowley's grave. When he sees Alanna, he tries to turn back, but she sees him before he can go.*

*Alanna bites her lip, noticing his reticence and wondering if she had done something to cause it. She frowns. No, she is relatively certain she hasn't, and that it's just her confusion leading her blindly into paranoid self-pity. Everyone seems upset with her as of late, possibly because she feels they should be.

Shaking herself, she slowly lifts her hand and waves.*

Morning, Adam.

*Mithros wickers softly and savages a patch of bright green grass. Alanna wonders when she began automatically leaving the "good" off that greeting.*

*He looks at her and shrugs, keeping his hands in his pockets.*

'morning.

*he seems to wait for her to say something else, the silence lasts on, awkward, for a few minutes, before he speaks again.*

What're you up to?

*She tugs gently on the lead, attempting to save a patch of flowers Mithros is intent on devouring.*

Not much. I had a... *She stops, considers.* I didn't sleep well, so Mithros and I went exploring in the woods this morning.

*Eyeing him with no small amount of worry, she pats the spot next to her under the tree.*

Want to sit down?

*He nods, and takes a seat, staring off over the lake.*

Did you find anything interesting?

A few demon bunnies, a good climbing tree and a patch of purple flowers I've never seen before. *She scoops up some dirt and lets it sift through her fingers.* Nothing of much note, no. It just felt good to be outside and let myself get a little lost. It helped ease this sense of constriction I can't seem to escape lately.

Why did you almost turn away? You know I won't bother you if you don't want company, right?

*Brushing her hands off, she turns to look at him. For some reason, it's very important to her that he knows this.*

*Adam nods. Constriction. That's a good word for it.*

I know.

*Alanna almost laughs. Almost. It was such a Thom thing to do, avoiding the question that way. She lets out a low whistle, and Mithros jogs over, ears forward.*

Stay over here, you big lug. Don't eat the flowers. *Smiling affectionately at the gelding, she unsheathes her dagger and drives it into the ground, through the loop of his lead. Nodding in satisfaction, she gives Adam her full attention.*

I'm glad. *She pauses.* Are you... something is wrong.

*Adam shakes his head, and leans back against the tree, closing his eyes.*

Something? Yeah. *he laughs* More like nothing is right.

*Swallowing hard, Alanna keeps her eyes on his face as her nails dig into her palms.*

I'm very sorry to hear that, my friend. *quietly* Would it help to talk about it at all?

*He keeps laughing, it's a bit off kilter*

Which part do you want to hear about first? The part where I almost killed somebody, or the part where I tried to kiss my boss?

*Alanna's breath catches.*

I want to hear about whatever you wish to tell me.

*He closes his eyes again, staying against the tree for support.*

The other night I-

*and he seems to realize that he's talking to somebody who's on the security staff and cuts himself short.*

*Blinking, Alanna stares at him.*

I hope you didn't just censor yourself for the reason I'm suspecting.

*Disgruntled, she folds her arms across her chest and turns to watch Mithros.*

I'm not... Goddess, I wouldn't. You're my friend, and even if you weren't... *She shrugs, rubbing her nose. Issues of right and wrong have been plaguing her as of late.*

*Adam opens his eyes to look at her, and smiles.*

Thanks. I-

I guess I was. *he shakes his head*

Do you know who Raguel is?

*She nods swiftly.* No thanks are needed.

I do not, although I've heard his name, I believe. Why? *Alanna furrows her brow.*

He's the angel who tried to destroy Crowley.

*Alanna sucks a breath in through her teeth. The snake-like noise startles her horse and he dances sideways. She doesn't notice.*

Not too popular around here, I imagine. *She studies his face, her gaze penetrating.* Was this the first time you had seen him since?

*It doesn't take much to work out that this is the the person Adam almost killed. What bothers her is that she feels a slight twinge on the edge of her conscience. A fleeting thought - I understand why.

Vengeance.

She thinks of all the ineffective threats she had made against Lucifer. If you hurt him, I will strike at you any way I can.

The look she gives Adam now is very uncertain, unsettled.*

*Adam keeps his eyes on her, though it seems to pain him to do so.*

No, the second. The first, I didn't know it was him.

*Alanna flinches. It's all too easy to imagine how this made him feel.*

I remember the first time I saw Roger here. After Thom's death, after I killed him the second time. *softly* It scared me a bit to realize that I would have no problem doing it again. I wanted to ruin, destroy him for what he did to my twin. To all of us.

*She sniffs back tears.*

I wasn't particularly proud of that, but it was honest emotion, I suppose.

What happened, Adam?

*Adam nods, slowly.*

I wanted to-

I wanted to kill him.

I had, this poker. With my father's blood on it.

Your fa... Lucifer's blood? *She frowns. Blood runs through his veins? Somehow she had expected something else - fire, brimstone... something other than blood.* Do I want to know how it got on the poker?

Crowley -

Lucifer was threatening Aziraphael, and Crowley hit him with it. This was-

a while ago, obviously.

*He's starting to breathe again, and he tells the story slowly, and calmly.*

*Alanna nods slowly, running a hand through her hair.*

I heard something of that, yes. Admittedly, I was rather distracted by the part of the tale that involved Bernard punching Lucifer in the nose. *She flushes.* So you had this poker, and went after Raguel with it? *Both eyebrows raise, and she lowers her chin.* I'm quite certain you did this outside, correct?

*Adam nods.*

Back- in the woods.

*Where nobody would hear us.*

But Aziraphael saw us, and stopped me. Not before-

*he takes a deep breath*

Not before their blood had mixed.